Learning to Accept My Body

Most of the time, I don’t have a problem slipping on my mask. The smile. The laughter. The attention to others. Continuing to push when I’m tired. Working to please others, sometimes to my detriment.

But, I don’t have the energy or strength to put that mask on right now. I look at myself in the mirror, and my eyes say it all – “I’m worn out. Physically tired. Beaten up emotionally. Desperate spiritually.”

Even though my journey through chronic pain and illness has lasted over forty years, I admit I continue struggling with complete transparency when it comes to my health,  and I acknowledge the times I shy away from my husband and children. I’m sure they recognize when I’m not feeling well, but they choose to ignore it and allow me to keep going.

Recently however, something snapped. And I knew I had to let go of everything that added pressure, weight, and stress to my life. Continue reading →